Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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