I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
