I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
