I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
