Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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