Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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