Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
