my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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