i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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