after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
