I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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