i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
