So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
