The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
