I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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