Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
