Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
