its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
