I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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