I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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