U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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