He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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