Your face is a jimmy john
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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