Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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