Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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