i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
