u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
