he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
