you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It was confusing and full of hummus
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
