i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
