those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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