goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
