I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
