you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i think my cat just said my name.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
