Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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