I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
