he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
