wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
