God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
