I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
