look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
