summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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