sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
