did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
