Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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