she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize