Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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