"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
