Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
