It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
