He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
There's even glitter on my cock...
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